


don't call, i'm fine

by alsahm



Category: Persona 5, Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crack, Flash Fic, M/M, petty exes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 10:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17896925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alsahm/pseuds/alsahm
Summary: Goro has a new boyfriend! Ren doesn't care. Really!





	don't call, i'm fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chashmish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chashmish/gifts).



Ann says, "Okay. Don't panic." Then she shoves her smoothie into his hands and pushes past him into the apartment, pacing manically.

"Hi," says Ren, pulling the door shut. "Is everything alright?"

Ann breathes, slaps her cheeks. Takes back her smoothie and drags out a long sip. "Oooookay. Okay. Just promise you won't freak out."

"Ann," says Ren, smiling gently, "what is it?"

And then she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her photos and turns it, pushing it into his glasses. Ren blinks a few times before just taking it from her. When his eyes finally focus he's staring at a screencap of an Instagram feed, on which he sees a post by someone decidedly familiar.

"You still follow him?" Ren asks, bewildered.

"I'm sorry! He doesn't post that often and I keep forgetting—"

Both of those are dirty lies, but this isn't: "It's fine, I don't mind—"

"Just _look_ ," Ann presses, sprinting round and squeezing anxiously into his shoulder, so Ren does. There's Akechi Goro, his ex of a handful of years now, the ex he would still absolutely drop anyone else to be with again. Except—

There's someone else in the picture, with his lips pressed affectionately into the side of Goro's face. Blond, with a winking blue eye, a look like he laughs a lot. Goro is smiling, too, the sun setting his hair like molten gold, and Ren, of all people, knows that it's—this is all _genuine_.

"Huh. Is—"

 

"IS HE WHITE?" Ryuji demands, not even ten minutes later.

Ren sets down his kava to put his friend on speaker. "Does everyone follow my ex online?"

"Dude," Ryuji's voice announces into the attic suite between heavy breaths, "he has great skincare stuff."

Ann sighs in what must be agreement. "But who _is_ this guy?"

Ren thought he was above needing to find that out, but Futaba is situated on what was once his futon, typing furiously. "I don't get it," she mutters. "Literally the only blip I'm getting for this guy _anywhere_ is some facial recognition as a one-off backup dancer for Risette." Ann leans over, and Futaba obligingly pulls up the video, where sure enough the guy—who has only been identified as Ted through Goro's social media—is awkwardly flailing.

"Hold up," says Ryuji with some strain, "FaceTime." Seconds later Ren is met with Ryuji's sweaty mug, bouncing in the frame as he jogs across Tokyo. "Okay."

Ren angles his camera at Futaba's laptop—

 

"Wait," says Makoto, squinting through the webcam. "Is that Satonaka-san?"

Ren, now playing host in person or via LINE to six people, says, "I really didn't think we were all this petty about my ex."

But they are. Makoto, at least, called primarily to check up on Ren's self-esteem. Haru was weirdly fixated on this guy potentially being European, and where does Ren think they met? They brought up the video from Risette's concert again, which Yusuke is still rewinding religiously, studying Ted's movements but also what he has dubbed the "clearly chiseled physique" of this other guy, and Makoto stared and stared until she came away with vague recognition of a third dancer.

Futaba's wiles, meanwhile, convinced Ren to revisit the last curt email from Goro; he's in the middle of divining what was _really_ meant when Goro "found himself in Tibet" when Morgana leaps into his arms and manages to invite the man of the hour into the call.

 

"Oh," Goro says, with clear amusement. "Yes, we met through a work acquaintance of mine. He's a friend of a friend. Really quite talented—they all are." Another smile, genuine and lovely, the kind that sings _the therapy was a success_.

"Hey," says Ren, and moves to the balcony, phone pressed to his ear, "that's great."

And he means it. Seeing Goro apparently happy and fulfilled wrenches at his heart in a warm way.

But then "It is," Goro agrees, and then goes _off_ about all the peculiar behaviors of his new boyfriend, and how he is just _so_ cute and cuddly and shits sunshine, Ren I would delight _so much_ in introducing you, are you still in Tokyo Ren, Ren you should bring your new beau as I'm so sure you've got one, and then Ren inexplicably finds his mouth saying he'd _love_ that, _absolutely_ , and hey is _Ted_ still dancing backup for Risette and then going into space hibernation, but wait hang on you're cutting out—

 

He shoves the phone in his pocket and looks at all his friends in a panic. Shitfuckdammit why does Goro and somehow only ever Goro always _do this to him_.

"Ren?" prods Yusuke.

"Okay," he says, and breathes. "Okay. First of all, I'm fine, they're fine, I don't care. Second, who is going to date me real quick—"


End file.
